Saturday, March 29, 2014

Use the Remote

I wish I too could drop in the middle of the floor and have everything stop or wait up for me. Really, how great would it be if I could just put myself in time out? When I'm ready, I'll emerge, possibly with a new game plan, and it would be as if I never skipped a beat...
Well, he does miss Music or snack sometimes, but that's not exactly the point.
I'm just coming off a week of recooperation and could already petition for another one. It feels as if it never happened. The pressure to complete a handful of things and make decisions about others is almost a physical feeling right now; like my body can feel the weight of everything on top, pushing down. It becomes an immense burden. I'd like to know what the future holds; I'd like to know how things are going to play out.  Maybe this is the moment right before something dynamic is going to happen. This weight that bares you down before you can be built up again.

"For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
So collapse.
This is not your destruction.

This is your birth.

— n.t.  

Monday, March 10, 2014

What Dreams May Come

I keep having these strange dreams; its been a few nights in a row now. There doesn't seem to be a particular theme amonst them, but they're popping up much more often than usual. I wake up with just bits and pieces, still half asleep and trying to put them together but not quite sure what the outcome is. They involve locations, or I should say, that location plays an important role in them. I'm in New York with a sibling; a sibling is here with me; my parents want me there but they don't know if they want to be there either. Its as if we're all trying to find our place. Maybe its my own anxiety; I need answers regarding the upcoming months and its been a bit difficult trying to get them. I understand that I am looking for certain answers, and those may not be the ones I get...

agatha christie quote