Pumpkin Pie Forever

I've been rather crabby lately. I know this anyway, but I know it even moreso since a co-worker pointed out to me that my reaction was "the happiest they've seen me in a couple of months." A reaction all over having my library fees paid....a big deal in the life of a reader on a budget, but not necessarily enough to drastically contrast my normal dispostion. I've had all this time on my hands, too. Without tutoring or classes or a thesis or even gardening, my time has been available for TV series, long workouts, roaming stores, writing, and reading. The stress of last year is not in vision, even after dealing with work all day I generally get to leave it behind and move on to something I enjoy. I just can't seem to adjust my attitude; it may have something to do with yet another rejection for a job interview. I must be something like 0 for 30. Not a single place has even seemed interested. My stellar resume apparently hasn't made quite the impact I was hoping for, or even suspected. Things that involved overseas, and teaching, and tutoring, and magazines, and what-not are either not as impressive as I thought or are being overlooked. I know, people are wanting specific things which require specific skills, and its a choir to sit down and get to know someone. Because I also know, there are many of these jobs I would be good at. I may even rock at.
But today is not about complaining; its "a time of thanks" as one of my little guys reminded us this week. He was even crying about something he didn't want to do, so I should may follow suit.Take this time to recharge, refocus, regroup...

"I've survived a lot of things,
and I'll probably survive this."
 -J.D Salinger

You teach people how to treat

 you by what you 

allow, what you stop, and

 what you reinforce.  

  -Tony Gaskins

The Write Stuff

I've been writing again. Not a lot but more since I've been lying around sick as a dog. Mostly poetry, but thats something. And mostly depressing. That's something, too though I don't know if I've actually been feeling depressed. But I've had a lot of time and motivation to self-reflect. The motivation comes from the melancholy skies and smell of a fire. The holidays start rolling in and so does the nostalgia, as all these little moments trigger feelings and emotions which, in turn, produce some unexpected or unpredictable work. It could be said that they're good and bad, both the feelings and the work, though I don't know if they are anything more than they just.... are....

It may also be seeing my entire paycheck gone in a single weekend. Once the bills - rent, utilities, loans, insurance - are all paid, there's nothing left.

But whatever it starts out as, it becomes theraputic to start the writing process.  And I've been in such a dry spell for quite some time that I really don't care how or why its now flowing. It stirs up and waves come over me and I want to put things on paper. I want to share those feelings, recreate and add to them, and I'm thankful that a shift in the weather lends to such.