The World Without

I've just about forgotten all about the kids this weekend. Its been nothing but the holiday on my mind, and then in a snap, seemingly, its over. Coming off a high.  I almost don't even want it to happen; even though my excitement is still that of an 8 year old...It's like  the anticipation is almost greater than the event because knowing that "this is it" leaves me a bit empty. We are in the midst of the holidays and I nearly turn into a different person at this time of year. This is MY time of year. I'm hopeful and inspired and thankful and invigorated and joyous. Then its gone. Le sigh....I keep thinking I should find a way to turn the bittersweet into sweetsweet, but then the sweet would possibly not be as sweet. 
And I just scored a pair of Tarheel basketball shorts on Ebay for $.99 so I guess it doesn't all have to be just about lights and fires and chocolate right now.

photos from themodernhepburn and awelltravelledwoman

Own It

"He got the brains, I got cooth, she........got courage."

But it only shoes up at certain times.  In fact, it even shows up sometimes when I don't want it to, and other times when I'm looking all over for it I can't even find a slither. But that slither just may sneak up on someone else and then uncoil, like a snake from an S curve. 

AND SO IT GOES

Sometimes, at really random moments, I find myself wondering what ever happened to someone I once crossed paths with. And it usually is just once. Like that guy from New Zealand who sat down next to me to smoke a cigar outside a cafe in Korea. Or that girl I met in a hostel in Ireland trying to attend Trinity College. What about that girl I went to school with for a bit or played basketball with for a bit way back when? And the guy who followed Jeremy and I around on our UK backbacking adventure...There are so many people I've met, officially or unofficially in my life. Maybe I needed them for just that moment or that time; maybe I was supposed to hang onto them longer and I didn't.  I'm not always sure, but I do wish to have another conversation with them. Not only do I want to hear about what the've been doing, but I have stories as well. I have things I've done since we last met, or first met for some individuals. Nontheless, the idea of reconnecting with someone who doesn't know you now and who may have know you very little then is somewhat attractive. But so often it seems we actually avoid these people. I find myself, and others, walking right by people I recognize and not saying a word.  I know they recognize me too because we make eye contact that says "Oh hey ... you...I'm going this way." We don't make eye contact for too long because then we'd have to give into it. And what if we did just look long enough that we had to say more? Something?

Past time and passed out

Sometimes I just have so much to do that I don't know what to do with it. I sure haven't kept up with it here. School, in particular, is kickin' my butt. Really, I'm spending a good, and overwhelming chunk of my time taking care of schoolwork. So much so that I started this entry a week ago and am just getting around to finishing it. I've done very little journaling, reading, or writing of my own which leaves me feeling a little lost.  I setting aside some serious time this weekend to get back into my element.