Monday, March 26, 2012
I've been having arguments with my father about, well, everything. Arguements may be too defined, but "disagreements" is too kind, and that is what we haven't been. I hear people, or mostly my mother, say "You two are so much alike"and that is apparently why we have a hard time seeing eye-to-eye. I'm not sure what we're seeing, except maybe the other one in our own way. He goes on and on, I let out a big sigh and then he goes on some more because I'm not going on....or because my sigh is going on. If you're confused about the whole thing imagine how I feel.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
He was such a good boy. Not necessarily good in the behaved way; good in grade. He was as present as any person I knew. For 18 years he gave us, his family, his best. To have someone who never gave judgement, was never unforgiving or hard is the rarest of all rarities. And the hurt is a rare, inexplainable hurt because you don't quite know it's place.
I'm struggling with these past few days, and I will struggle for more to come. The tears have come in the morning, at work, in the car, at home, at the gym. I know we had a blessed time with him, but I wanted more. You always want more.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I miss the gym and I even think it misses me. Thanks to a week of different agents wrecking havoc on my body, I have failed to show face all but one day. And not much face at work either. I am now crawling out of my den, very slowly, and trying to pick back up where I left off. Rather difficult to do when you're still not feeling 100%. The process of emerging from out of commission takes a lot, a lot of patience mostly. I'm still finding my rhythm and trying to get my strength back after the flu and removal of wisdom teeth. E said he'd buy me some new ones. Teeth that is. The good news is I didn't create any embarassing scenes under the influence of the "happy juice," unlike the girl in the room next to me. She was a show all by herself.
I've mostly just spent a lot time lying around. Now, pushing on, I'm looking forward to rest where I don't feel completely spent.
Spring break, and Christmas break, have to be the best parts of my job. Breaks and a certain little face that looks at me like it genuinely loves me.