Saturday, April 29, 2017

Born To Be Wild.....until about 11p.m.

Prom happened. And then other things happened; a really long night that turned into morning. I haven't been out that late since....ever?  No, there was my last Friday in Korea, and last Friday I was out till 2am. But 4?  I am too old for that.  Fun times for sure,  but a whole day feeling like you've been sacked like a quarterback in the Super Bowl and needing most of the weekend to recover = not so fun. It started as just socializing with my co-workers (I'm still in the newbie phase) and needing something I couldn't really excuse myself out of. I mean, volleyball is going well(now sand!) and Thursday I made a splash (even got a trophy) for writing a kid up....who wasn't even at school....
Yup, that's me, breaking the mold. 

Saturday, April 8, 2017

If You Need to Break Down

"Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once."      - Mark Twain

I'm exhausted - physically, mentally, and emotionally. The physical aspect may have been contributed to by a bit of illness which has seemed to subside, but the weight of the last month or so has been very noticeable. It hasn't stopped me; I've ran and climbed and lifted and explored, enjoying a wonderful and needed spring break. But even that week of "me-time" didn't seem to quite shake this feeling of suffocation. I can't quite pinpoint it, as is often the case with my restlessness and/or agitation. It's not depression or anxiety ( I can put myself in a good mood relatively easily),but it does become something I have to focus on ridding myself of. I think that's the tricky part; its not just putting myself in a better mood. I feel like a million things are spinning around at once, and I can't quite sort them out or put them into their proper place. I have accepted that not every kids is going to like me; some will love and some will hate. But when I mess up or don't get it right in front of peers, that really rocks me. There's making a mistake because I just didn't know, and then there's making a mistake because I wasn't thinking right. 
I would generalize that most have been patient and understanding. I'm probably harder on myself more than anyone else, but there's frustration in knowing that I could do better....