Sunday, July 31, 2011

But You're Family

I have the need to feel part of something. I haven't had that in quite some time. Not at work, not at church, not a school, not as a part of a team, not even with family so much...
It's been nagging the past month, almost overwhelming.
The desire makes itself known when I see others doing something together-going forward after something with each other, something exciting they form a connection because of.
I took a week to travel, something I do every summer just about, and I was part of something.  This summer and last summer, how awesome is a sister-brother or father-daughter duo out exploring? But the gap just didn't fill up.  Surely because it was family, and surely because I knew what I had to go back to.  It was momentar, fleeting.  I enjoy all of it, but I want, need something sustaining.  The summer is winding down and that stirs up lots of emotions that can go as quick as they come. 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Rocky Mountain High

Hello again.  My absence can only be explained by this:
Have I ever told you about the mountains and sea?  They both captivate me.  It's rare that I get either so the gift of one is enough to make my summer.  As Pop and I covered over 3,000 miles in the car I was given the chance to see some the of the true landscape of this country.  Wyoming - yes, I'll take you, you and your mountains and rivers and trees and animals and endless roads.  Something about no one around to bother me.  Except of course, the man beside me driving the beast.  But so many sweet things happened, casting a line in mountain stream or seeing wild horses on the hilltop. I'm comforted, safe, and at peace.
But it's funny how I can be so in the moment in certain places and then fall right back out, almost into the future - things that are lurking.  All things that are incomplete waiting for me when the moment is over. I only hope I can learn to better carry that peace with me.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


I'm a sucker for drama. Especially when someone gets suckerpunched, especially when there's a comeback kid, and if there's an entire comeback team, forget it.  I'm planted.  I like finding something to get behind and staying there, cheering, until the run ends.  I like being awed and getting goosebumps. And I like to think they appreciate my support.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Man on Campus

I'll tell you that I love my big red, when it's working.  That car, and all cars, are generally no fun. But this guy is always fun so I'll deal with the inconvenience to see his face.  

A getaway to Columbia left my vehicle smoking but me beaming. A little peak into someone's new life...
though it never feels like we've been seperated.  He seems so grown up when I seem him now, but that little voice that calls out my name and grabs my hand to come play always makes me smile.  
Coming back home and gearing up for another long trip - and coming home again- means new perspective, fresh ideas, and reevaluation.  Decisions make me nervous.  That's ok.  As long as I'm moving. 

Friday, July 1, 2011


Here I am, only a breath into July and I'm already thinking about October.  But only a breath, it seemed, and summer school was over as well. I can take so much more from a kid than I can from an the summer proved to be a nice break, even while still going to work and taking a hit. Literally. A hit. My new friend A can throw a right hook, sometimes a left, and gives no regard as to where it lands. If that fails he resorts to the bear hug, hoping to squeeze me right into submission. It doesn't work. I "man-up" and squeeze right back, moreso giving into his need for pressure sensory than anything else. It's a battle I'm willing to be in.
And who wouldn't fall in love with a kid who thinks your ears look like windmills?

The whole ordeal, for obvious reasons, would stress a lot of people out, but I've had a great deal of fun the past 4 weeks. A part of me was feeling that I was doing what I should be doing, because people were telling me so and sounded rather convincing.  I like things to be convincing, and there is something about summer, as harsh as I find it, that's more convinging than the rest of the year.  Maybe its all the friggin' sunshine.