I still have some adrenaline pumpling through me. I ran a solid 8 miles this afternoon and should have kept going. I feel I could go out right now and just run. But rather, I'm trying get paperwork done, contain my restlessness and focus so I'm not just out trying to entertain or distract myself.....
Its a bit difficult after yesterday. Yesterday was intended to be a bit daring, a bit of an adventure, but I got more than I think I bargained for. I intended to get inked, and that I did without much difficulty. A little bigger, a little more expensive, a little painful, but I'm highly pleased with what I got.
I did not intend to have someone break into my apartment. Attempted break in, forced entry...whatever it was, I'm still playing it over and over in my head and what else I would have done if my initial attempt hadn't been successful. I had the door closed but unlocked, and saw someone on my porch who didn't respond to me; within a minute they were inside my apartment and I didn't even think. I reacted with a charge, a shove, and we both stumbled backwards out the door. It took me a bit even after they took off to decide I needed to call the police because of what happened. But in the moment, I had no fear. Fight or flight was at the forefront, and I suddenly was ready to fight. There wasn't any time in the moment to really think about anything; I just reacted and it happened to work. I thought all night about how it much worse it could have been. Even though I felt empored and full of adrenaline, I didn't think any through.
I'm not worried now....I think things have been taken care of and are under control. Its just an incident I that has two sides of: something I don't want to happen but I found out a little of what I'm made of.
Its a bit difficult after yesterday. Yesterday was intended to be a bit daring, a bit of an adventure, but I got more than I think I bargained for. I intended to get inked, and that I did without much difficulty. A little bigger, a little more expensive, a little painful, but I'm highly pleased with what I got.
I did not intend to have someone break into my apartment. Attempted break in, forced entry...whatever it was, I'm still playing it over and over in my head and what else I would have done if my initial attempt hadn't been successful. I had the door closed but unlocked, and saw someone on my porch who didn't respond to me; within a minute they were inside my apartment and I didn't even think. I reacted with a charge, a shove, and we both stumbled backwards out the door. It took me a bit even after they took off to decide I needed to call the police because of what happened. But in the moment, I had no fear. Fight or flight was at the forefront, and I suddenly was ready to fight. There wasn't any time in the moment to really think about anything; I just reacted and it happened to work. I thought all night about how it much worse it could have been. Even though I felt empored and full of adrenaline, I didn't think any through.
I'm not worried now....I think things have been taken care of and are under control. Its just an incident I that has two sides of: something I don't want to happen but I found out a little of what I'm made of.
