Lightbulbs

E often thinks of things I wish I would have thought of.  His mind is a little wheel, and so much seems to be going on in there I wonder what we would discover if he could actually get it all out. But last week he exteneded a peace treaty that squeezed my heart into slush.  In a perfectly folded piece of paper he explained to R the sadness experienced when he doesn't follow directions. Nonetheless, E reckoned, they could still be best friends.
How much more appropriate is that then a shout of, "Dude, just get your shit together!"? 

Its genius really. I've been wondering ever since if that is what I should have done all along...it seems too simple. Or maybe just too humble.  The thing about humility, is that you often must aknowledge someone else's position and swallow a spoonful of pride. I'd rather swallow their pride. Unfortunately, R saw little opportunity in E's proposal and so we moved on.  That's the other risk - putting yourself on the line and being rejected or passed right by.
But the year has finally finished after a painfully slow passing. JB and I went out with a bang too, rather than taking one. Not that it made the whole year worth it but it was most the fun I've had in weeks.  I took a lot out of this year; I left a lot behind to because that's where it needed to stay. It will be there still if I get back. IF?

HERE

Holy rusted nails, Batman! Where have I been lately? What have I been doing? Especially, now that school is out I should have all the time in the world.  Which leaves me all the time in the world to do nothing. Maybe my nothing is someone's something, or maybe so much of my something has felt like nothing lately that now my nothing has become something. Makes sense, right?
Entertaining a random drunk in a parking lot and eating tacos at 10p.m. to counter a six hour long happy hour sounds like nothing. As does watching hours of reality TV, or getting buzzed with the little brother...it does feel like I've been here before.  Right now summer gives time, and I appreciate that. Without it, the summer heat would seem to be a waste. So I will savor what it gives me and move on with the wave.

Monday is Coming

sip

Part of my morning is a cup of coffee.  Decafe or not, hot or cold, the day has officially started when I have a cup in hand.  

work it, or don't

I have a number of pet peeves that reveal themselves particularily bluntly at my place of physical training, that is the gym. For one, why do your clothes need to be cute? Things do not need to be pink or glittery. And a full face of make-up is not very condusive to the sweat you should plan on sliding down your face. There is a certain someone, whom I never interact with and should then maybe let it go, but who also has a flair in her mien guaranteed to catch your attention, which I'm sure is its whole purpose. The rolled up pant leg, the slicked back hair, the strategically exposed belly piercing. Oh, and the sisters seem to be pushed up front. If you could move aside, I would really like to access the machine you're leaning against while you talk to that guy. 
Tattoos, though I understand are meant to be seen, aren't necessarily meant to be had. I can point out three different gentelmen who sport rather identical flames crawling up their calf muscles - that's right, muscles, on both legs. If somethings is to be said for that I can't figure it out. Maybe, he can beat me to the machine...?
I'm one for pluggin' my phones in my ears and blairing the music without any attention to who's looking.  I'm sure they are - my swinging elbows, by throat clearing, my soaked t-shirt, my frizzled hair - but my shoes are pretty ballin'.  They should look at those. 

Breaking and Fixing

"it's all insane if you think about it. how things are made. how things break. who fixes the unfixable. who stays and who cannot. it's a heartbreaking tightrope walk every minute of every day. don't look down, don't look up, just fix your eyes straight ahead. there's tomorrow. there's another chance. there's better, there's worse, there's richer and poorer and ice cream for dinner and warm socks fresh from the dryer and sunsets that make you want to stick around to see it come back up again. there will be those shit shit shit moments and a whole lot of mortified."


A lot of things have seemed broken lately.  Some have seemed broken for awhile, and others are more recent. Like the new season has brought on some new challanges. Whether I break or others break, or whoever is doing the breaking, there seems to be a call to go shopping for new things. But then the old things are still broken and you have to look at them or pitch them....so, what to do? If someone were to let me know, it would probably go something like the above.


from MackinInk; she's just lovely

Its Here

Spring.