divine discontent

Last week at work I had my first "I don't think I want to do this" moment which nearly always results in the swelling of the my insides and plausable tear drops. I won't say that I have forsaken the act of looking for a different job, but it had been put on the back burner. This is a fresh start, a new encounter, waters I haven't really sailed before so it's only right that I give it a fair shot. But I still rarely feel like this is what I am made out for. And at some times, I actually feel like I was made for something else. Its somewhat of a paradox to me, to know that I'm good at something which doesn't necessarily give a sense of accomplishment or more importantly, passion. There are days of absolute fullfillment, yet I can't say that I've ever had an "Ah, yes, I am suppossed to be here" moment. When a co-worker recently confided in me that she is looking for a different job, I was reminded....reminded why I had begun looking when I did. There's just so much to do. I'm young and want to explore, while sensing the pressure of time passing by. I need progress and accomplishment. Even know, I'm pursuing a graduate degree in something I don't see myself settling down with. Just for a time. Is this discontent or ambition or something I more?

I'd like to think I'm just worn down, out of energy to really put myself into it and that can happen at any place at any time. Though this worn down has lingered. And it slightly worries me.