I've Forgotten How To.....

The new year has come and gone, but mostly it just feels like it has just gone. It was surround by sadness and anxiety and fear because something else had gone too. My car was taken in the middle of the night, from right outside my apartment. Though it could have been so much worse, as nothing harmful was done to me personally, it still felt like I had been invaded, attacked. Like the act was done TO me and not just some random car that could have been anyone else's too. And maybe I was a target....and so I've been paranoid pretty much every night since. The first night, it was every little noise and a couple of nightmares that had me waking up. Now I just find myself wanting to be in before too late, even before dark which really is unreasonable and rather depressing as well. But I have this
pending, unsettled mood hovering over me or around me. An aura of unease. 

I even got the call just a few days later; today. But spending the majority of my week on holiday break actually dealing with and worrying about this...has been draining. I'm spent and in absolutely no mood to return to work in 2 days. I feel like I need an additional week to actually enjoy and get things done....

Mom and Dad have been truly life saving. Dad especially, remained shockingly calm and has navigated me through most of the "What the hell do I do?" moments. I've kept going over everything and asking myself what I would've done, who I would have called, who would've helped. He and I really almost reversed roles, with me freaking out and nearly hyperventilating and him telling me to breath, it will be alright. Well, I don't know if its alright YET, but I have a bit of hope.