The Bomb Went Off

I'm a tad stressed. Just a bit. Its a restless, tired, I don't know what to do with myself stressed.  Not really your typical mental and emotional strain...

I said the f-word in front of a kid the other day. More like to him; THE f-word, the one when you're angry and want to get your point across. I hear it so much every day, and it still makes me uneasy. And not because Oh my gosh its a bad word! but because it seems to send such a derogatory message, such a vulgar tone directed at someone.  As if to really say, "Whatever happens to you, I don't care."  I didn't go that far; it was used as in adjective but still, the fact that I let it fly showed just how much I was chomping at the bit.

I started the process of looking for another job. Of course I'm not sharing that with most people, well, any people really. But I think this job was only for a season anyway and maybe that season is over. I don't regret leaving my previous position; that job had a season as well and this has allowed some things to happen that probably wouldn't have happened otherwise.  I'm just usually good about reading my temperament and demeanor.