Permission

10. Give yourself permission to say no to the things that make you unhappy, or that take your energy.

I said it...and I took responsibility for it. I can feel and hear my voice shake in those moments but I knew this was coming; all coming to a head and people were bound to be people up in arms. I knew there were possible repurcussions. No one typically likes being called out for not doing their job; reactions are understandable, but when the accusation is true....
I just can't find the motivation any more to act as if its okay that you don't do what you need to do while I bust my ass. Every day has been a conflict of interest: I like them just fine outside of work, but I do not enjoy working with them. I don't know if I would do it differently or not. I don't even know if I'm outta line; certainly warranted and justified but to act in the name of that alone and not consider everything else surrounding it, can be dangerous. I just feel less inclined to follow along, to do what everyone expects me to do. This year has opened me up to some freedom, freedom to speak up about things. I'm still trying to find my footing, but I do believe I have the right to stumble.